Ralph Waldo Emerson said 'For every minute you are angry you loose sixty seconds of happiness'.

It's a choice to be angry or happy. Both are states that is the result of some stimulus that you re-present in your brain and attach a meaning to it, that has a direct effect on the body. Your state determines your behaviour.

When you change the meaning or the frame that you put around it, you change the state.

For example: You have a conversation with someone. The person does not agree with you. The meaning you attach to someone not agreeing with you may have been 'he's doing it on purpose; he's stupid; he's just difficult, causing you to feel angry. When you feel angry, you raise your voice, may walk out, etc.

Now, when you change the meaning to 'he is understanding it differently; he has another way of looking at it - let me find out where he is coming from - will cause you to be open-minded and feel relaxed. When you feel relaxed and are open-minded the chances are excellent that you and the person will develop a long-term relationship that is harmonious and leave you feeling happy.

When someone does or says something that makes us feel angry or uncomfortable, it is most likely something in ourselves reflected in the behaviour of another that we don't like. The opposite is also true.

Your emotions are expressions of what you feel. You are more than your emotions.